There is something that I feel you need to know. It’s really important to the sanity of your cashier. Oh, and your personal safety might be at risk, too.
You are not funny.
Not at all. Not even a little. And actually, when you try to be funny, it just makes the place where my heart used to be sort of… deflate. The problem is that you are not original. That joke you’re about to say… I've heard it. Literally three times since I clocked in. I have heard that joke so many times that it actually makes me sad that I have to do my polite-fake-laugh.
For example:
Me: Do you need any help?
Customer: Are you a psychiatrist?
What you think will happen:
Me: HAHAHA good one, sir! Good one.
What actually happens:
Me: Ha… no.
What we wish we could say:
Me: Shut the fuck up.
So please, save your stand up comedy for open mic night so we don’t have any issues. I would hate for you to be the one to send me over the edge.
Here's another example, just to be sure this is crystal clear:
What we feel like doing:
I thank you for your understanding.
-Kristen
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